A Week of Work Outfits (1/8-1/12/18)

When I was younger I was always super jealous of girls who were able to easily get cute clothes. I’ve been plus size since high school, and back then I just didn’t have the spending money or physical access to fully outfit myself the way that I wanted to. Luckily, I live in the future now and have a job that allows me to pay my bills and also occasionally buy cute clothes. My wardrobe has gotten to a place where I’m pretty pleased with it, and I thought it would be fun to do a series of outfit photos showing what I wear in a typical week at work.

Even though I was planning to do a blog post, I didn’t plan my outfits any more precisely than I normally would’ve. In fact, this turned out to be a week where I had a really bad cold, so I was really just trying to be as comfortable and work appropriate as possible. The cold is the same reason I covered my face in all the pictures — I really looked like an exhausted mess, and spent every day waiting to go home and crawl into bed, lol.

I’ll link what I can (#notspon), but I’ve had some of this clothing for a long time, so it’s not all available anymore.

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Monday!

Welcome to the bathroom at my office! The landlords of our building have been really throttling our heat this winter – no matter how much we fiddle with the thermostats it’s still pretty chilly. So I’ve been trying to dress warmly. This sweater dress is from Torrid’s Outlander collection. It’s maybe a size too big on me, but by the time it arrived it was sold out so I couldn’t exchange it. The bigness really only makes it more snuggly anyway. The weird cloak/cowl thing around the neck is kind of annoying (it also goes around the back and I have a hard time making it lie flat back there), but it’s not too annoying to live with.

I got my boots from Payless two or three years ago. Because I’m plus size and also have short legs for my height, it can be tricky for me to find boots, but these ones are good. My leggings are from Forever 21. I love them so much that I actually have extra brand new pairs in the bottom of my drawer in case they ever discontinue them. I only wash my hair every other night, and I’ll often use headbands to distract people from my greasy hair.

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Tuesday!

I feel super fortunate to work at a law firm that allows us to wear jeans and sneakers! My top is one I bought at Torrid during the summer – it has a cute lace detail on the shoulders and upper back, but you can’t see because of my cardigan, which is from Forever 21. I’m wearing a basic grey tank top from Walmart under my shirt because while the shirt isn’t see thru, it is a sliiightly more low cut than is office appropriate. I wore a pair of my favorite Torrid jeans. It was very cold this particular week, so I would’ve worn sneakers with this outfit instead of these Walmart flats, but we had a client coming in, so I figured I should wear more professional shoes.

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Wednesday!

On this day we were hosting a meeting with a bunch of attorneys from other offices (a deposition, if you’re down with law lingo). So I figured even though I was sneezing like crazy, I should dress up a little. None of the attorneys ever told me that I should look nice for depositions, but I figure that a lot of times I’m the only staff member that visitors will really see, so if I look good, it makes the firm look good. Dresses and leggings are my go-to for looking nice at work, because it’s just very comfortable, while still being presentable. Here I’m wearing an old dress from Torrid, another pair of the leggings I mentioned above, and the Walmart flats again. The pinned back hair is another way I make my hair look nice when it needs a wash.

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Thursday!

This is just a basic casual work outfit. These jeans are the same Torrid jeans I wore earlier in the week, only in grey. My top is from Torrid as well. I didn’t realize until I uploaded the picture to my computer, but the thin horizontal black and white stripes photograph horribly (or create “noise,” to use a term I learned in my college TV production classes). So sorry if this picture is hurting your eyes, lol. My sweater is an oldie from Forever 21 and my Converse are actually cheap knockoffs from Target.

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Friday!

Finally! We’ve survived the week. I was just super worn out by this point from illness and general work stuff, so I picked an outfit that was as close to pajamas as humanly possibly. Here again we have Forever 21 leggings and the Walmart flats. This cute, bird print dress is the only thing I’ve ever bought from Asos and it’s very comfortable. My half ponytail is probably the hairstyle I use the most on hairwashing days.

So that’s it! I hope you’ve enjoyed this peek into my wardrobe. I definitely think it was a fun idea, and I’ll probably do another one in the spring or summer, to show off the warm weather side of my work wardrobe, so stay tuned for that!

Why do I censor myself?

In my previous post, I briefly mentioned that there are things that I can’t talk about on my YouTube channel. I wanted to talk about why that is, because you might be wondering why I, a grown woman, would feel the need to censor myself.

It all goes back to the 2012 trip to Germany I went on with my younger brother and my aunt. I vlogged a bit, and wound up showing this video to my aunt because I thought she would like it. It’s still one of my favorite videos I’ve made, and she enjoyed it so much that she asked me for the link so she could watch it again later. Rather stupidly, I somehow never thought that she would watch my other videos, because while my family was aware that I did YouTube, no one had really shown an interest in it, and I was pretty close-mouthed and private about it, because I didn’t want them watching.

When my aunt watches YouTube she’ll do it when there’s downtime at work because she’s not that technologically inclined and doesn’t quite understand how to use her home computer even though she can use her work computer just fine for the most part. Another essential piece of background info for this story is that my mom and aunt work at the same business.

One day my mom came home and said she’d had a small fight with my aunt at work that day because of a little video I’d uploaded called “Virgin Territory.” This video was inspired by an MTV reality show of the same name that came out around that time and followed the lives of several different virgins who were in their early to mid-twenties. In it, I discuss my own virgin status, and some of the circumstances surrounding that. My aunt was rewatching the Germany video, and then picked this one out of the recommended videos on the sidebar.

My mom and aunt’s desks are close to each other, but still far enough apart that you have to raise your voice slightly to speak between them. My mom’s recollection of the argument opened with my aunt reacting to the video intro in which I tell my mother not to watch the video by calling to my mom and saying, “She doesn’t want you to watch this one!” My mom responded that she wouldn’t have wanted to watch it anyway. And then when my aunt got to the part of the video where I say that I’m a virgin, she yelled, “Oh! She’s a virgin!” across to my mom.

My mom then got into it with with my aunt about how you shouldn’t just shout things like that across the office because even though no one was really around the office at the time, the office is small and what if someone else had heard?

At this point in her recollections, my mom stopped to say to me, “I don’t even understand why you feel the need to talk about stuff like that online anyway.”

Because I want to. Because I can. Because telling all my uncomfortable and/or unusual stories could maybe help someone else, whether it’s by actually relating to what I’m saying and gleaning some advice from it, or even as a distraction from their own troubles by using me for entertainment.

In that moment, sitting there in a room loaded with my mother’s disapproval, I felt something inside of me close off.

I’m non-confrontational by nature, and in order to avoid possible future confrontation with my family, I decided that there are certain topics I could never address in video (not all of them sexual in nature, by the way). It’s a loss and a limitation that still annoys me, which I part of why I wanted and needed to start this blog.

And the next time my aunt decides she might want to rewatch one of my videos, I will burn her a DVD.

This is Krys.

The last guy I was in a relationship with is named Chris. (Normally I’d change the name to protect the innocent, but this story won’t make any sense if I do. Almost everyone he knows calls him by an extremely unrelated nickname anyway, so it should be fine.)

One night we went to eat at a diner (I’m from New Jersey, occasional diner visits are mandatory or I get kicked out), and there was a bit of a wait, so I put my name down on the hostess’ list. Instead of giving her my full first name, which I’ve often had misheard as other names, I told her to put down Krys. (Which she probably wrote down as Chris, but whatever.) So when she called for us, she asked for Krys, and Chris said, “Why didn’t you put down your name?”

My response? “I did.”

He had no idea, and neither would most people.

Hello, I’m Krystal, but very rarely, mostly to my family, I am known as Krys. I’m called Krys so rarely that it sort of feels like a secret identity. And yet, Krys name is the one I’d like to use on this blog. The use of such an extremely personal name is a reminder for me to be my most personal self here. I already have a well-worn-in online handle I could have used — I’ve been krystaaaalkay since 2012, if not before. But for this blog, I want to abandon that name, for a couple of reasons.

  1.  There is a little problem with the name krystaaaalkay called “nobody can remember how to fucking spell it.”
  2. krystaaaalkay is more or less my “brand,” and in some ways it has become an alter ego. Yes, krystaaaalkay is candid with her thoughts, but she’s also highly veneered. She rarely appears in front of a camera without a full face of makeup, and won’t talk about certain uncomfortable things from her life that maybe she’d like to talk about if she didn’t want to make people uncomfortable. (Except mental health. She’ll always talk about her depression and anxiety.)

Krys is easy to spell. Krys doesn’t give a fuck about a lot of things that krystaaaalkay does. krystaaaalkay needs a full face of makeup to do a video. Krys is currently writing this blog post with her hair wet from a shower, wearing her pajamas — a floppy tank top, Walmart leggings, socks to hold in the lotion on her feet, and Crocs (her house shoes).

So here we go. Let’s lose the veneer. Let’s get sloppy. Let’s get personal.

Much love,
Krys

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