Month October 2017

Old Weird YouTube Favorites

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I’ve been using YouTube since the year the site opened, and I’m at a point where I have over 400 videos in my favorites playlist. That playlist is hidden, you can’t see it on my channel page because it’s got a weird variety of stuff in it. But I thought it might be fun to go to the start of the playlist, and share some of the videos I favorited so long ago.

Early YouTube was a magical place that I didn’t really appreciate at the time. It was an environment where people felt free to post whatever they wanted regardless of how low production it was, or how weird. So I want to highlight a few of the weird things that made me laugh way back when, and that also still do today.

Here we have a lovely little ditty called “My Hands Are Bananas.” It was published in August of 2006 and is a take on stereotypical German techno/dance/industrial music (but in English). It’s utter hilarious nonsense that my friends and I used to sing back and forth to each other in the lunchroom.

“Go to McDonald – (Earthbound gigyas’s theme RONALDver.)” requires a little background information. Basically, there was a period of time where I was super into watching Japanese commercials and music videos because of a couple of friends I’d made on MSN messenger. Because of those friends I stumbled onto a genre I’d call “remixing songs using Japanese Ronald McDonald commercials.” This particular remix is of the final boss theme from Earthbound, and also includes some video distortion that is quite creepy, so just beware of that. This is another one that my friends and I would reference to each other (especially “daiski daiski daiski daiski,” which starts at 1:20 in the video).

This is called “Slumber Party” and it’s a video that I think about a lot, especially when High School Musical is referenced, which you’ll understand if you watch it. It’s a comedic horror short created by Neil Cicierega, who’s been one of my creative idols since I first discovered his work back in high school. (He’s also the creator of the Potter Puppet Pals and releases music as Lemon Demon, and when I realized all of these things were made by the same person, I was super impressed!) I can’t say too much about this one without totally ruining the suspense/mystery, but it’s only 5 minutes long, what do you have to lose?

And to close us off, I give you “Spiderman’s Epic Battle!” Just watch it. Hopefully you’ll laugh as much as I do.

Share all of your favorite odd YouTube videos with me! I always love to see new things.

–Krys

New England Nostalgia

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I went to college (university, for you non-Americans) in a tiny town in northwestern Massachusetts called North Adams. It’s just about as far from Boston as you can get and still be in the state — many of the students came from upstate New York and the town is so close to the Vermont border that some of the faculty lived there.

My first semester of college my mom wanted to make the four hour trip to visit me on Columbus Weekend, since it was a long weekend for both of us, and when she couldn’t get a hotel room in the immediate area we found out about the phenomenon known as “leaf peeping.” Leaf peeping is a form of tourism where people travel to go look at the changed leaves in the autumn. On the East Coast, New England is a popular area for this, probably because the comparatively lower temperatures cause the trees to change earlier.

In most instances, I think travelling a long distance just to look at some trees is pretty silly. However, I never miss North Adams more than I do in the fall, and when you see the photos below maybe you’ll see why!

These are all photos that I took when I was in college (mostly even before I had my nice DSLR) — I haven’t been back in the fall since I graduated at the end of 2012.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA(I remember that I liked this tree because it looks sort of like a paintbrush partially dipped in paint.)

 

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA(A nearly leafless tree  with some kind of berries on it, taken from inside the library. It looks like a spring picture, but I swear it’s not, lol.)

 

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA(This yellow tree was my favorite one on campus every year, and that’s why I’ve included two photos of it! When I picture fall in North Adams, this tree is usually the first thing I think of.)

 

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA(A view of the quad.)

 

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA(Path in front of one of the main classroom buildings.)

 

IMG_3998(This picture is kind of crummy quality, because I took it through the window of an elevator lobby, but I fucking love the cloud clinging to those mountains.)

 

IMG_4164(The view from my dorm window my last, happiest semester of college. Those trees on the left were gorgeous study companions!)

 

IMG_4263(A friend wanted to take some cosplay photos down by the train tracks that we definitely weren’t supposed to be near, but that people hung out by / used as a shortcut for walking to Walmart anyway.)

 

I hope you’ve all enjoyed this little nostalgia trip into my photograph archives! I’ve taken so many photos and they’re mostly just rotting away inside my hard drive, so I think I’ll pull together little posts of old photos like this in the future.

How do you guys feel about fall?

Much love,
Krys

World Mental Health Day

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(Selfie taken on my worst mental health day of 2017. Why did I take this? I don’t recall.)

Today is apparently World Mental Health Day. It’s made me remember a conversation I had once with an ex-boyfriend. This post is coming a little late in the day here in New Jersey, but I wanted to share this anyway.

He said, “You always talk about your anxiety and depression, but I never see it.” I sensed an implied message, namely, “So, it’s not really that big a deal, is it?”

I replied, “Just because it isn’t visible, or isn’t happening around you, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.”

He eventually wound up ending the relationship exactly a week after Anxious Krys made her first appearance in front of him. My logical brain said it was a coincidence. My illogical brain was concerned that was at least part of the cause and wondered which other people in my life I might drive away by being a basket case. (I just want to make it clear — I’m not using illogical as a negative term here, it’s just the terminology I personally use to identify the thoughts that I know are floating around in my head because of depression and anxiety, and to separate them from my clearer thoughts.)

When it comes to my mental health issues, I make it a point to be as open as I can be with as many of the people in my life that I feel I can. Maybe I’ll never have an anxiety attack around a specific person. Maybe the most they’ll get of my lows is a text message that says, “please send me memes or a funny video because I’m down today.” But I want people in my life to know that this is a part of me that exists because if it does pop up, I don’t them to be taken aback. I know there are people out there who don’t want to be around a “crazy girl,” who wouldn’t want to be my friend because sometimes I can get “too negative,” who wouldn’t want to date me because sometimes I’m occasionally emotionally unstable. So I just feel like giving people a heads up is the polite thing to do.

My mental health issues are not even that severe when compared to those of other people. I can only imagine how much more difficult life might be for those who have struggles greater than mine.

Not everyone can be open like I am, for one reason or another. And not all mental health problems have visible manifestations. So just be kind to people, and patient with them, because you don’t know what they’re dealing with inside.

Five Things I Like About Myself

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Still feeling in bit of a mental health slump, so let’s do some self-affirmation!

1. I can’t bake from scratch, but I am a wizard of box mixes, and I am always willing to make one for you, whether it’s to celebrate something or whether you’re sad and need some cheering up. I know, I know, it doesn’t sound that impressive, but believe me, I’ve seen some box baking go very wrong in my time, but mine almost always come out great! Pictured are some Funfetti cupcakes I made for a friend’s birthday a couple years ago, after he asked, “Krystal, can you bake something super gay for my birthday?” My decorating skills could admittedly use some work, but the tastes of the cakes was much appreciated.

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2. I’m not afraid to go on adventures by myself. Some people don’t like to go to the movies alone, or go to restaurants alone, or go on trips alone. I used to feel awkward about those things too, but I’ve worked myself up to being comfortable on my own. In fact, sometimes I even prefer to do things alone, because then I don’t have to worry about anyone else’s wants or needs and don’t have to worry about them being inconvenienced by mine. Because being annoying is a thing that I do worry about (hopefully I’ll learn not to someday). 20161004_121211

(Me with my Cossack cousin one an impromptu solo trip to the Museum of Natural History in NYC. Yes, I do have one tiny sliver of Russian blood in me.)

3. I have a great sense of humor. Or at least I think so. My brothers are super fond of quoting at me that Futurama line, “Your jokes are bad and you should feel bad!” But I laugh at my dumb jokes and humorous observations, and some other people do too, so there. 20160924_235227

(A old photo from a family trip in which me and my younger brother are pretending to be afraid of a stationary helicopter. This pose was my idea, as he was just a young innocent child at the time of this trip.)

4. I have a great capacity to give love and support. Even when I feel like garbage and dislike myself, I can still see the bright spots in other people. Even though I don’t always know what advice to give, you can still vent to me if you’re having a hard time. Once I decide to care about you, I’m your homedog until you give me a very good reason not to be, even if I’m crappy about keeping in touch with people who are far away. This point has kind of turned into several points, but they’re kind of all under the same general umbrella, so whatever.

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(My best friend’s two cats, who I love very much, and are my honorary stepsons.)

5. I’m freaking cute. It might be vain to say that, but honestly, I don’t give a damn. I didn’t always feel this way; I definitely had a pretty awkward puberty, same as anyone, and didn’t really learn to like myself and “feel myself” as the kids say, until I’d nearly graduated from college. And I do have days where I look in the mirror and go, “ugh.” But those are getting fewer and farther between, especially since I’ve finally settled on how I like to dress myself and what kinds of clothes I think are flattering for my figure.

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(First Krystmas [get it?] vs. one of my most recent DSLR selfies. Cute af since 1991.)

What’s something that you like about yourself?

Much love,

Krys